oblivious?

everytime,
when i try to give chance,
or try to prove myself wrong,
i'm down to square one,
making no difference,
still right here.

i hope i can say yes,
this is the f/s that i want to be at,
i've found it...
but again,
i'm held back,
not knowing what to
assure myself of.
uncertain__

if silence to people
quates itself to one of being
aloof and haughty,
then fine,
i shall just live with it

if people now wants
'instant noodle' style
quick-to-warm-up
people,
then i will tell you,
you will never
'cook' me.
wrong method

after 4 attempts,
i would say f/s time
in itself is worth it,
especially bible study weeks,

but after that?
what am i to expect of it?
nothing
only silence,
and more silence... ...

maybe it just goes down
to my own innate problem,
silence.

when people tell me to change,
get rid of the silence,
i firmly choose to stand by it.
because,
silence is my fortitude,
my depth,
my eyes... ...

maybe, maybe... ...



-in silence, i observe-