恋爱-ing 101.2a

the 6 emotional traumas (1-3)

1. being rejected - 'mom, why don't you want me?'

everyone came to this world, wanting affection, first from our mother, then our parents, our relatives. soon as we began to grow older and become more sociable, we desire the affection from friends. as we step into our teenage years and early adulthood age, we seek the affection and love from the opposite sex. that's how we are, we are constantly seeking for affection and love from those around us. man in himself, cannot survive on solidarity.

however, in life, we do not always get the love we desire from the person we think ought to give us, hence some of us suffer from rejection since a young age, be it rejection from our parents, or even our friends, or crushes. this form of rejection, maybe be a one off traumatic event, or accumulated over the years, will make us feel rejected, unwanted, and this can and will eventually throw us into depression. a bible character that best explicits this feeling of being rejected is mosses.

as a result of being unable to tackle this feeling of rejection, more than often we find our relationship with people at stake, especially with regards to our interaction with the opposite sex, because we lack the confidence to foster this relationship with people. hence it is hard of people to find such person as a lively and warm spirit.

2. anger - 'you better think twice before stepping on my toe!'

human's emotions are like this, if they feel they have been wronged, they will get angry. now what makes someone an angry person? it is most probably a child that grew up in a family that is oppressive towards him, and scolds him even for the slightest mistake, or simply by not attaining his parent's expectation. children from such families will tend to suffer from hiding and suppressing their feelings. such people usual feel insecure, and once their emotions have been triggered, it is so explosive, no one dares to come near them. they are often angered or irritated by the slightest thing, and to which, their reaction is oversensitive. Jonah is such an example.

however, such persons often deny the fact that they are being hurt. hence they project this self-confident image of themselves. often a times, such people are also harsh with their words and have their own theories towards things. these characteristic are a result of their feeling of supremacy, which is often the culprit of dysfunctional relationships they encounter.

in the eyes of the opposite sex. this self-confidence on first sight be deemed attractive, but in the long run, one is bound to find such a 'quality' a 'disaster' because of the endless quarrels that might occur throughout their relationship, even into marriage.

3. love-void-syndrome - 'if only someone loves me...'

Jacob is such a person. what is love-void-syndrome? this syndrome occurs when a children experience the lack of love during their childhood, this results in them always wanting more love more love from people.

in a relationship, such people tend to demand love, and more love from their partner. their desire and appetite for love is insatiable. in times when their relationship is going well, they tend to be very proactive, passionate, but conversely, once their relationship is met on rocks, they will become overly pessimistic about things. they are more steadfast in their love than most people, and they will subconsciously or unconsciously try to control their partner, or love their partner too much till it becomes suffocating. such people are easy to get suspicious even after they get married.

meanwhile, keep faith, pray hard, and don't give up!

[lets date!]

十二月下雨

十二月，

它老爱下雨。

下了又停，停了又下。

那一天会下雨，那一天会放晴，

我不知道。

犹豫着，该不该带伞的好。

这一场雨下得好大好大，

像似雨停了，

却久久都不愿放晴一般。

L.ike.ove

恋爱-ing 101.1

this is a period of life that we begin to look around us for the other half that makes our heart whole. but many have found themselves lost, not knowing how to make the first step.

i know i am in not much position to talk about this with my very limited experience, but recently i chanced upon this book about dating, and i thought its a pretty insightful one. i felt its good stuff to share it with my blog's ardent fans.

before i begin, i would just like to quote something my best friend Jovena once said: 'you know, its likes buying a pair of shoes, its about wanting the pair that is beautiful but hurts your feet, or getting the pair that fits you comfortably, but may not be the most pretty one.'

this analogy describes finding your soul mate in a nutshell. i believe most of us want the best of both worlds, but when it comes to really making the decision, which will you pick? the precedent or the latter?

mastering the art of dating

why is everyone dating except me?!?

everyone is attractive in their unique own way. there is not a person that is not attractive. the reason why one question 'why nobody likes me? why am i still single?' is because he has yet to unleash his x factor and use it wisely to attract the opposite sex.

there are 2 reasons why one's charisma is being hidden;

1. oneself(自己）- beauty does not equate to being charismatic.

2. emotional trauma（创伤）- because of the emotional trauma that we have experienced previously, we (sub)/(un)-consciously hide our strengths, and because of this, we have a skewed view and understanding of ourself, thus not knowing how lovely and attractive we can be, and hence, losing our self-confidence in the process.

to understand ourselves better, and to discover and unleash our strengths, one ought to know which category of the 6 emotional trauma one falls under. with this knowledge, you will then be able to pin point your weakness(es), change them, and be the most attractive person!

i shall leave you with this for the time being, and the next time round, i will share with you more about the 6 common types of emotional trauma, their potential pit holes, and how to overcome them.

meanwhile, keep faith, pray hard, and don't give up!

[lets date!]

oops!!!

i used to think,

or rather, i always thought,

i have no musical talent,

so i always end up screwing things up,

but well,

it seems not the case so.

even people who are deemed more musically inclined than me,

they screw things up too,

just that well,

i screw it more often,

i guess.

interlocking circles

because Ms Jean wants me the upload them, so here they are.

but rather i would say, because we finally made them,

after going through much together,

so there is a need to show them off a little.

his ring : in.God.i'm.possible + Joanne

her ring : LOVE overcomes all things + Marcus

may that when the boyfriend meets any trying time in life,

he holds on to the Lord that never fails him.

’我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能！’

may that in times when the girlfriend finds that their relationship is on rocks,

she will remember how they made in through all those that came before,

and be encouraged that they will walk through it hand in hand

immersed

i am really immersed in His grace and blessings!

i ought to make a testimony of how Great my Lord is!

you know, this sem has been one of the most challenging sem.

i got one of the most irresponsible profs in my 5 sems in SMU,

i took 2 cores, 2 lgsts, thinking they were a good mix of difficulty,

but i was so wrong, each made me weary to such a great extend,

and well, having to juggle between study and relationship,

that proves to be the most challenging of all!

and of course, not forgetting my target this sem.

all these just made the sem less than easy going!

i remembered how i trembled after my ethics, and twc exam,

how i feared so much that i will fail them.

i recalled the day after my last paper, and the release of my twc grades,

how my dear boy tried to console me that everything will be fine,

but deep down, that fear nobody could ease.

i looked at the target setting table that i wrote,

how i hated to look at it because i might fall way below.

i worried till my heart and soul begun to wilt.

then that night in Medan,

i asked the preacher who share a room with me,

'how do i trust God?'

'Just take faith and throw away your logic,

He works in ways man's logic can never fathom'

that replied, i kept it in my heart and i did just that.

i prayed day and night about it whenever i could.

the days and weeks that followed,

i locked fear up in the deepest dungeon of my heart,

and welcomed faith and hope to be my guests.

i opened my heart, and happily busied

with church Christmas celebration preparation.

OASIS was meant to release our results last Friday,

but it was postponed till today.

i can still feel my heart pounding hard,

i can still hear my voice inside,

just saying 'Thank God, you listened to my prayers'

words cannot describe how much gratitude i have,

all i know, is i must share this amazing God with you!

not only did He helped me survive this semester,

He showed me if i trust Him,

and if what i want is what He pleases,

He gave it to me.

I hit my target,

and i got a decent grade for Coy law

to continue my 2nd major.

i have experienced this wonderful God again and again,

He never fails me, and i am blessed in His plan.

i urge you to open your heart to Him,

and experience this God in your life today!

dream bag

this balenciaga handbag totally makes me crazy over them!

i've been talking about getting a new bag for months,

and i FINALLY got a Mel look alike!!!

HAPPINESS!!

(at the price of my passport, wow how great is that!)

roadmap

i should know the way back so well,

that it is at the tips of my fingers,

since i've been here so many times,

... ... but no,

each time i stand at this end of the journey,

i am lost all over again

and i wonder how to find my way back.

wont you hold my hand and guild me

back to where happiness lives?

maybe you want to,

but i think,

we all have to find our own way back,

by ourselves.

get the roadmap!

don't get lost again!

silence

you know, all my life,

people tell me, 'you do this, you do that,

you cant do this, you cant do that.'

nobody really ask me how i feel inside.

i tell them to myself.

maybe its because they tried asking,

but in vein, so they gave up asking,

and soon, no one listens.

i talk to myself.

i hear other people talk,

i hear other people laugh,

its a world so silent to me,

i hardly hear my voice,

i hear them all the time,

because they talk to me.

i don't know how i feel,

every-time i feel sick inside,

i just hug my hippos,

they listen to me weep,

they dry my tears for me,

i find solace in their silence.

all these while,

i've forgotten how to tell you how i feel.

maybe it matters,

maybe it does not.

but i think it makes no difference,

i have long forgotten how to feel.

even if i do,

they are locked up in the dusty attics of my heart.

silence,

my silence,

they tell you everything,

everything you ought to know.

don't try to understand,

because neither do i.

eyeliner

because i was a little bored since my parents weren't home yet,

so i dug around for my mum's eyeliner,

which she used as a brow-liner instead,

but never-mind that.

i starting doing what a girl should do;

trying to put on some make-up,

and it was... ...

disastrous!

my hands failed to listen to my command,

and i draw incomplete lines,

that i had to re-do the fill the gaps in,

and the result was;

a thick rugged line above and below my lashes.

oh smoky eyes!

i look more like so demon than pretty girl.

but anyway, at least i could say,

i ever did tried putting on some eyeliner!

anyway, it was a hiccup of entertainment for me (:

dear God,

Dear God,

When I’m scared, will you hold my hand?

~ age 4

stumble over this prayer while i was doing a little image research on Google.

it makes me stop for a long long time.

there are many moments in life,

that we held on to our comfort blanket,

and we feared.

i was not exception.

i fear, constantly,

of many things.

as i grow older, i fear more,

and this fear eats into the faith that i should have in Him,

i began to lose sight of His almighty-ness.

this period of time,

its like those all over again.

its no longer fear of the dark like when i was little,

but the same fear of not doing well,

not meet up to expectations again.

not those set by those around me,

but my the me inside.

i am at the verge,

i realised worrying, fearing, is no solution.

i asked my preacher roomie one day,

'how do i have faith in Him?'

and her reply,

'throw away logic,

He works in ways,

man's logic can never fathom.'

i think that is the best advice given.

i'm throwing away logic,

and just trusting,

taking faith.

if you are in such weariness just like me,

throw away logic,

pick up faith!

pick up hope!

because,

EVERYTHING is possible in Him!

let Him hold your hands.

nerdy

ok, so the boyfriend's all packed up to battle his exams,

while i am here about to surrender to my grades,

that are to be released soon.

so the wait is long and i must as well do something that i like,

and its such irony, i realized.

social science, is a course about reading

and more reading, and endless readings,

that finishing them would be too faraway a price for most.

they never fail to make me wanna throw them out,

but guess what,

i'm so glued to reading now while i wait for love to finish his exams

that i have forgotten that TV used to be my best friend,

and Google and Facebook used to be an everyday guest.

i guess, at the end of the day, i love reading,

be it boring academic papers,

or long long biographies,

or must-read classics,

or interesting novels,

i love them all,

just the same.

***

talking about reading,

it reminds me that i wanna get a new pair of specs soon!

i'm wearing a half-brimmed black specs,

i think want to get a full-brimmed black specs.

nerdy to the max, but i believe,

i'll still look chic in them!

marshmallow

plain marshmallows,

chocolate-filled marshmallows,

grape flavoured marshmallows,

all these are the common flavours of marshmallows

that we can check out at the counter.

but, what about lemon-filled marshmallows?!?!

oishiiiiii!!!

i happened to chanced by a pack of

lemon-filled marshmallows

while shopping with Ms Jean at Muji today.

gosh! its awesome!

the light refreshing taste of lemon first tint my mouth

as my tongue twirl itself around the little sponge of joy,

then, with a light squeeze on the pale yellow marsh,

woots, lemon fillings oozed out and

floods my mouth with endless refreshing taste of lemon!

oh such divine lemon marshmallows!!!!

only for $1.90 at MUJI!!!

get them now!!!

fast-forward in time

yesterday, i had my plans changed 5-6 times, i was so pissed off, but thanks to my lovely one, he never fails to paint a beautiful smile on my face. because the person who has finished all her exams has the right to being a little high, a little less sane than normal, i was back to being my hysteric self once again. in the car on the way home, i think i must be too happy or something, i ended up singing ‘贺新年' like nobody's business. i know he doesn't like hearing it, because his exams aren't over yet and here i am fast-forwarding time to next year. but nonetheless, he still sang along to add into the fun. anyway, he seems to love the song more than me now and he is singing them even in the messages he send me! so here's the lyrics for you:

賀新年　祝新年　新年哪　年連年　爆竹聲聲催人想幼年 
賀新年　祝新年　新年哪　年連年　歲月悠悠光陰如箭 
回首往事如煙　痛苦辛酸　寄望從今萬事如願 
賀新年　祝新年　新年哪　年連年　願大家都過個太平年

you know, i think its just a Christmas thing for me. every time the Christmas bells begin to ring, i dream of lunar new year's coming, and i singing new year songs instead of Christmas carols.