不朽

阿信： 我感谢很多人，愿意冒着被我讨厌的风险，逼我做很多事情；人应该要让自己拥有选择的机会，不要让未来的你，讨厌现在的自己。

蔡康永：人生初期，别拒绝学习，因为诸事蒙昧，难免摸索，任性的拒绝学习，就是冒险，因为赌的是后来的人生，自己也失去了改变的可能。

囚禁

当你强制的紧握着不放开时，

你囚禁的是你的心灵！

入戏

曹格 - 入戏

最后 你转身离去
闪过 一丝犹豫
已经到底 像拍好的剧情
埋下伏笔 未完待续

是我 一直太入戏
彻底 为你着迷
安然静静 有一千种表情
看不清也不想看清

铺天盖地是你完美演技
一句抱歉说的煽情
坏人我做就可以
若即若离是你完美演技
那里热闹往哪里去 都随你

我该 怎么形容你
善变或任性
爱得即兴 没有任何逻辑
甚至不留一点痕迹

是我 一直太入戏
彻底 为你着迷
干干净净 眼神黑白分明
我怎么都看不清晰

若即若离是你完美演技
那里热闹往哪里去 都随你

一生悬命爱着你
陪你演出对手戏
我毫不犹豫
不管未来在哪里
你的绝情合情理

铺天盖地是你完美演技
一句抱歉说的煽情
坏人我做就可以
若即若离是你完美演技
那里热闹往哪里去 都随你

social conformity

recently been looking at some other people's photos on FB (as usual) and it suddenly struck me...how come/how is it possible that they all dress in the similar fashion?

then i remembered studying in PSY 101, that people are conformed to dress like their peers to be accepted by them.

so does that mean that your friends socialized you to be who you are and what you perceived yourself to be?!?

and i wondered, how is it that my pack of JC friends that i have always been going out with, have not conformed and dress similarly after all these years of friendship?!?!

weird?!?! (don't understand!!!) maybe we gel well together as friends but deep down we are all just being very stubborn in our own ways, our outlook in life, the approach to happenings around us, so social conformity is an EXCEPTION with us!

cause each and every one of us is S-P-E-C-I-A-L!!!

LOVE all you special peeps!!

傀儡

我不喜欢这种心情被你牵挂着的感觉！

disclaimer

with regards to the immediate previous post:

1. the author has gotten over her emotions and will NOT do anything as suggested or implied from the post.

2. the author has decided to leave the post up for the sole reason for the appreciation of her literary juices used to write the entry.

3. the author here by, takes no responsibility of any interpretation or actions taken by any reader after reading her post.

4. this post is only for literary appreciation purposes.

bottom line : DON'T READ TOO MUCH INTO IT! (;

上顶楼的快感

常在报章上读到有人跳楼，

总觉得心中有种隐微的诡异... ...

最近，我常从高楼往下看，

更常对着高楼的顶楼望去。

跳楼是什么感觉？

也许从高处，往下坠落时，

自己仿佛长上了翅膀，

心灵在这一刻飞出了这有限的驹壳，... ... ... 到无限！

还未不入21 的我，

好像早已失去了童年的勇气！

这样的日子，我似呼没有勇气再过了！

有一天，

如果你在报章的某一个最小的角落下，

看到我的新闻，

请不要诧异！

记忆会发黄，人会老，

最终，我们都回到那个叫从前的地方！

blogvisiting

sometimes i really feel very apologetic towards Jovena, not because i did something mean to her, but because i seldom stalk her blog as much as i stalk some other classmate's.

i feel so guilty for that, so each time i visit her blog, i read a whole lot of posts all together. maybe its high time joanne starts to stalk jovena's blog earnestly like how she stalks mine.

reading her blog, i could imagine how she felt when she wrote them. i wonder what went through her mind when she reads my blog? i guess its a explosion of question marks!

today i left a comment there, oh finally after a year i think. i thought of jovena always tagging on my tagboard, i wonder how she felt each time she tagged.

i read this post. she said she is going to hold a party for her 21th birthday. (MUST INVITE ME!!!) it once again hit me, how am i going to celebrate mine? maybe wondering off into the wilderness. (but where is the wilderness?!?)

oh boy, i think its just the old at heart young woman blabbering nonsense again! oops!

恋人

是不是恋爱中的人，

都会开始渐渐的为了彼此，

迷失了自己？

The Lie

The Lie

By Nathaniel Koh

Her mind wanders amidst the now nightly ritual. Ever since she made them bigger, her husband never fails to seek a ride from her. He always seems to turn all pubescent at the sight of them bare. As the damp warmth of red hot muscle gently rounds her bosom skin, she lets out the obligatory moan that barely penetrates the sweaty air. But what sounded like a moan to him felt more like a sigh to her. Thoughts run through her mind as quickly as his climatic burst. She should do it. No. She must do it. Must she?

As he slumps beside her in spent ecstasy, she lies there, eyes fixed to the nothingness of the night.

“That was good, Jane.” he says.

She hears nothing.

She just wants to get out. Out of this pack of lies.

He always says he loves her. But she knows better. He does not seek pleasure from her. He only seeks to pleasure himself. She is just a tool. His tool.

She has given up the struggle. It’s not worth it, she thinks. It just gets worse everytime she struggles. Rage. Slam. Slap. Force. Fear. Fuck.

But she’s tired. Tired of being a slave to his manhood. Tired of always being the obedient one. She obeys without him saying a word. She obeys because she fears. Him. His fist. His thing.

Gently, her right hand fingers the contours of her breast,feeling the subtle heaves of her chest. It just feels so…unreal. He had threatened to leave her. No longer a pleasure, he said. She pleaded that she would do anything to stay by his side.

Big mistake.

She knows it’s not going to last. The novelty will wear off soon enough. No longer a pleasure, he will say once more. What will she do then? She can’t keep on living this lie.

The fingers on her perfectly-rounded breasts are not hers now. He has arisen, turned over from his slumber. His muggy hands cupping the fullness of her bosom. Her areola encircled by his salivary tongue. His hardened thrusts goes deeper and deeper into her. But even as their bodies become one, their eyes never meet.

“Come, scream for me Jane. Come on..yea..”

Silence.

She’s not obligated to anymore.

For she knows she must.

--- END ---

little paper stars

oh so happening!

we can be just as happening without announcing it on FB for the world to know! the unsaid happening is more profound and special than the happening that is exposed to the world.

its the little bits and pieces of happening memories that we share that will fill the bottle like those paper stars. each star talks of a memory. each star is a promise made and a promise realized. each star is a step closer to a more beautiful tomorrow!

说爱，懂爱

我说：看别人说爱很容易，原来自己不知道爱，更不懂得如何去爱。 可悲吧？

你说：不会，因为我跟你一样，不懂得什么是爱。

起码我们都勇敢地承认不懂什么是爱，

强比那些炫耀着懂得爱，却其实不懂爱。

考验.牵手

当你说，你要改变， 证明给我看，

我知道，这一刻开始，那是对我最大的考验！

但愿你的改变，会带着我一起成长， 进步。

本为喜，惜，唉呼！

i have a truck load of questions to ask,

but who will answer them for me?

after all these, am i back to square one?

or am i even progressing after all?

来得太顺意的东西，

是否就能这样毫不痛心的让它溜走？

first day at sunday school!

this was the group photo we took on the first day of Sunday school. i've decided to post this photo instead because my class photo was too blur.

its a brand new year, a brand new start, for me, and for each and everyone of them too. i heard some students screamed : i'm PRIMARY ONE already!!! this reminds me of years back, when i first entered primary school. i was a brave girl, all out to experience the new challenges ahead of me. i went to school all by myself, and i did not cried a single tear no matter how the other kids wailed when they dont see their parents around.

with a new start, i hope things will shine for the better. (;

dating

A : are you free for lunch tomorrow?

B : erm... i'm going out tomorrow.

A : dating? who date you?

B : i am dating myself.

跨年

老妈说收拾好家里就可以跨年。

我说，

叠起所有的回忆，收拾好心情，

背起满满的勇气，带着满怀的憧憬，

一起跨年吧！