hope-full

this is one word that is so powerful

that i need it so badly now!

i need so see some hope,

i am feeling so hope-less inside.

save me oh Lord,

help me to trust and keep faith in You,

Please!!!

learning.studying.holidays

it officially the end of my fateful year 3 semester 1. come to think of it, time flies.

learning... ...

company law, its so interesting to learn how companies function, learn about things that used to riddle my so non-business inclined brain like stocks, shares, charges, etc. i really love company law, its so interesting! company is no longer just a term i would think of like before anymore. it has become more like a new friend to me.

ethics was challenging, so brain-teasing it makes me want to pull out my hair and cry. its just so weird to start thinking about ethical dilemmas when i am day-dreaming. i dont think i really like ethics so much, but it just surprises me how they suddenly come into my mind and steal a moment of my time to ponder about them.

trade law, the first half was full of learning new knowledge about private international law, but the second, i think it was a waste of time.

technology and world change, well its a university core. i still dont understand why do i have to study it even till now that i am done with the module. but i think it helps me to understand how the world progressed and function over its long history.

studying... ...

studying, its such a chore, but pasting post-it notes to flag my notes and articles like crazy definitely added a tint of colour to the grey studying routines.

at the end of the day, which student wont want their effort to mark up to the grades they get?

holidays... ...

hello holidays!!! i am in such a love-hate relationship with you! i love you because you mean freedom, but i hate you because, you make me waste time like water running from the tap.

this might just be a longest winter holiday that i am having, but i am not going to look for an internship to keep myself occupied. all i want to do, is spend lots of time here with the people who love me, and whom i love, doing crazy yet memorable stuff together and treasuring every moment i can spend with them now.

actually, i love learning, its so fun, provided its without the studying.

your smile

these few days,

blue is the colour of the air we breathe in.

quietness is the language we speak in.

i forgot how your smile looked like,

i forgot how i felt so fuzzy in your arms,

i looked at the photos that fills my album,

i see you smile again,

i see myself smile again,

bolted back into reality,

purple is the colour that fills my air,

its red, mixed with blue.

uncertainty is the language we speak.

i want to see you smile again,

i want to smile again.

overheard - head and neck

Mr. Panda: Baby, now that I’m your husband, I’m officially the Head of this unit, so you have to listen and do what I tell you, ok?

Mrs. Princess Panda: Sure, ok! *beams*

Mr. Panda: *suspicious*

Mrs. PP: You can be the Head no problem. And I can be the Neck! (:

Mr. P: *blinks at me*

Mrs. PP: So you see, I’ll be right below you…but I will determine your course. *smirk*

Mr. P: …….!!!!

Mrs. PP: *feeling pleased with myself*

Mr. P: *long pause* You know baby, people never talk about slitting the head do they? It’s always ‘slitting the throat/neck’. And do you know why?

Mrs. PP: *glare at Mr. Panda*

Mr. P: *pats my bristling head tenderly*….It’s because when you slit the neck, the head dies. Just like if anything happens to you, I’m finished.

Mrs. PP: *melts* Awww….ok lah, you can determine our course too….*big hugs*

And THIS is how Mr. Panda rules the roost! (;

-- adapted from Prof Haidakusumo's Blog

掌纹-曹格

在我的手心你落下的眼泪很冰

晶莹的泪滴轻轻滑过我的一生

春去春又回我走过的孤独很

难忘那一刻你走进生命的瞬间

我不信命我信爱情是没有理由

悲欢的注定在我的掌纹中你在那里

如此的清晰没有输赢你是我的命

在我的手心你落下的眼泪很冰

晶莹的泪滴轻轻滑过我的一生

春去春又回我走过的孤独很黑

难忘那一刻你走进生命的瞬间

我不信命我信爱情是没有理由

悲欢的注定在我的掌纹中你在那里

如此的清晰没有输赢你是我的命

我不信命

我信命中你给的每个考验和奇迹

在我的掌纹中安身立命是否愿意

张开手你回应

我不信命我不信命我只信你

iphone

(a conversation with my little nephew)

'do you have games inside?'

'no'

'aunt, next time when you grow up,

you must get an iphone,

so that you can download and play games!'

thats the iphone generation.

(fyi) little David is 4 this yr

KOI

if you saw the video i shared on facebook,

it seems like KOI is bad,

or rather, bubble tea is bad in general.

so they shrunk things up

and here's what is essentially inside your bbtea :

creamer,

sugar syrup,

flavour essence,

potato/sago flour,

and water.

effects of drinking too much bbtea:

narrowing of arteries,

cancer.

immediate problem of drinking bbtea:

obesity!

so moral of the story?

be like the little Danbo,

自能望梅止渴 );

make-up

is this what humans value?

how long will beauty last?

how far will beauty go?

how deep will beauty get?

is this really beauty?

would you want to date a gorgeous looking girl,

be the envy of everyone else,

but dread to wake up each morning,

only to find yourself in a nightmare,

next to someone not as pretty as she seems.

ask then, which girl wouldn't yearn to find someone

who accepts them for everything they are,

especially for how she looks,

be it she is slim, plump, tall, short,

even in the days when she just feels 'not-so-pretty'

its a deceiving world ):

sunset

' I WILL TRUST THE PERSON I LOVE'

thats the sweetest promise you ever made.

i'm sorry for the anger, for the coldness,

but i never stop loving you despite that,

and thank you for not giving up.

dear, i love you,

we will watch the sunset together one day.

trust

'I TRUST YOU'

is a better compliment than

'I Love You'

because,

you may not always trust the person you love,

but,

you can always will always love the person you trust'

how true and sweet these words are, but they never come from you. how can you say you love me when your trust in me is so stingy. where can i find happiness from someone who holds me close to him but doubt my heart. in those instances, we were so close, yet we were miles apart. who am i to you? what am i to you?

in this pursuit, i lost myself. i looked through the reflection in your eyes and wonder who is it that you are seeing? who is this that is immersing in your love? what is it of this reflection that captures your love? was it me? or was it the gratification that you find solace in?

where can i find consolation in your words? or are they mere words said to mask how you know you cant give me your trust? were they said just pacify the naive me? why tell me you would consider the escape route out of this hurting when you know you want to prove me wrong? why wont you just say it straight and simple? din't it ever cross your mind how that will put across to me? don't you realize how much disappointment will engulf me?

this taste of disappointment is so bitter as it holds in my mouth and slowly drip into my heart. i touched my face. but this face is no longer familiar to me. the lines of it all, so odd and so sad.

i'm tired, really.