3rd week

its the 3rd week that you have gone to camp. 

i am feeling...

restless

unfocused,

doubting,

worried,

lost,

loss, 

INSECURE. 

thats how i feel now, 

i cant think of any explanation for this,

only that you're away, 

out of my reach. 

i want to get out of this vicious cycle, 

because day after day, 

i worry for your safety inside.

i know there is nothing to be worried of, 

because its safe inside, considering it is no longer NS for you,

but still, i fear the 'if(s)'.

because night after night, 

i wake up from my sleep,

in believe that i will receive some bad news about you,

you getting sick inside, 

you getting injured inside, 

you getting ill-treated, 

the list goes on and on. 

because day after day, 

the feeling doesnt make itself less daunting on me.

you say, 'please stop saying : you aren't a good boy'

i really wished i could stop saying that, 

but i said it, 

only because i wanted assurance, 

assurance from you that everything is gonna be all right.

all right, 

that i can put my mind at ease. 

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....

they say, 

after being together long enough, 

they become alike.

i think i'm becoming like you.