i wonder . 2010

as the new year draws closer by the second, i see many people around me have renewed hopes, new resolutions, and continued believe that the new year will be a better one.

i don't know since when, i have started to be weary. for the bleakness of the future, for the uncertainty that comes along with it, and with the knowledge that one cannot control time. the passing of 2009 into 2010 just brings one an inch closer to one's end. i clearly remembered once during a Sunday service sermon, the pastor threw us this question : if God wants to see you today, are you prepared to see Him? at that moment, i thought, i am not prepared, i don't think i will ever be.

i recalled the 31th dec of 2007, the me, filled with hopes for the new phase of my life, wrote a list of resolutions for the new year. looking back then, i wonder how many of them were realized. the one that i wished for the most never did became reality. in the new year, will this same wish be realized before my birthday, i wish it would, but please, let not history repeat itself. maybe it will not come true too! i'll leave that all to fate.