random-ness

part i
recently many people have been smiling at me,
saying it over and over again,
'once upon a time, that little girl, this short,
is now a big girl, so tall (i'm not), going to university!
time flies... .... .... (blah blah blah)'
i look at them, all i could do was smile bitterly.
yes, time really flies, i'm now here, stuck,
i want to be a 3 year old kid again!
i'm going university? maybe not???
I DONT KNOW! - UNCERTAINTY

part ii
i seriously LOVE <3 this blog of mine!
^5 to dearest big cat, she loves it too!
in this space of mine,
i just want to be honest,
be frank with what i think,
be free with my expression
sometimes, i feel that i have put on
the mask for too long, tiring,
its here,
that i want to face myself truthfully,
be it love or hate me,
I AM JUST ME!

part iii
its just plain crazy-ness up in my brain,
i simply desire too badly to be a Tree!
nevermind the deforestation,
the effects of global warming,
and what have you... ...
that people poke fun at me for,
i think its the -----------
GREATEST AMBITION of times!
will i ever be one?
silly-ness (",)

part iv
this it MY life,
i should live it the way i want!
this road,
i decide how i will walk it
but... ...
why am i so concerned
of how others will perceive me?
i hate this way that i am geared
i wish i could be daring enough,
for my dream, for myself,
do what i want,
nevermind what other people think!
at this rate,
i will live life the way people want.
where is this LIFE that belongs to ME?
FIND IT BACK!!!

part v
just a little more honesty...
for a long long time,
when i lost count days,
i kept all emotions far away,
in a long forgotten vacuum
within me,
for fear of_____,
life was a peaceful,
emotionless ride... ...
but,
i'm INSPIRED!
REVIVED!!!